Chico Marx8 My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Judith Viorst72 Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
It’s easy to get sentimental about love.
If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on 60 Top Abraham Lincoln Famous Quotes You Need To Know
Garry Shandling40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. Jean Illsley Clarke35 Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.
Leopold FetchnerThis post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. Spanish Proverb14 I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list.
It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.You can’t put a price tag on love. Erma Bombeck46 Marriage is like a bank account. Phyllis Diller27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.Love sucks. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. Natasha Leggero19 Romantic love is mental illness.
Katherine Mansfield52 Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. Franklin P. Jones42 Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Then he is finished. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. James Montgomery Bailey71 Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. About 30 pounds. Jackie Mason31 To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. Deal with it.I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
George Burns45 Marriage has no guarantees.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Erich Segal54 Love is a fire. Jack Benny76 Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few peopleWhat the world really needs is more love and less paper work.The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.Love doesn’t make the world go round.
Bill Maher43 My wife gets all the money I make.
34 I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? 55 I love being married. Helen Gurley Brown64 Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.
But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.Men are from Earth. Lily Tomlin10 Women need a reason to have sex.
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